Johann Quisumbing

By JQuisumbing

In the third chapter of Star Wars, Obi-wan Kenobi and Master Yoda were about to escape the already ravaged Jedi Temple with many Jedi lying dead all over the place. Obi-wan paused to check a nearby holographic panel. Yoda warned him, “If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find.”  Obi-wan responds, “I must know the truth.” ¹  

Now, I don’t have the benefit of a holographic system to replay my past to me but the Lord did give us all a conscience.  And my conscience has a tendency to remind me of some of the crazy things I did before, especially of those events that make me ashamed. Now, of course, I’m not talking about when I was 11. I snuck out of our house in Florida at about midnight and tried to walk 35 miles to see a girl. I was about 3 hours out when a deputy found me walking on an isolated part of the highway flanked by Everglades swamps. By the way, I was not running away. My purpose was to go to a girl’s  house, gallantly rescue her from a supposedly abusive step father and bring her home to Mom. Hahaha! Oh, I must also confess that I lied to the deputy by telling him I was sleepwalking. I was an impulsive kid back then and that impulsiveness would eventually lead me to… how would Yoda say it? Oh yes, “Twisted by the dark side he has become.” ¹ (Imagine me saying this in a Yoda voice.)

Happy-go-lucky-me had a deep secret that overshadowed my growing up from my Junior years in High School up until my early marriage years. It was a habit much like drug addiction and alcoholism. I will not say what that habit was here lest my mind linger in those past memories that can ensnare me. What I will say is that it is quite common to many boys and men everywhere and usually dismissed as natural behavior. As to the actual effect of it, I was literally enslaved to it.  Because of it, I was distracted from being an apt student. Instead of a discipline of study, I often fell back to that habit. Because of it, I changed my university major 3 times mainly due to my failure to complete the curriculum. It was so bad that one time I went to beg a professor for a passing grade. I shamefully used tears and my being handicapped as the reason. It put a bad taste in my mouth. Many times I tried to break that habit, but I failed not because I was unable to. No, I failed because deep down I was not willing to let go. Like chains, my habit had enslaved me. Though I didn’t look it, I was without peace and far from God. Such is the nature of sin. 

Now, if you recall that God had a plan for me. Even when I turned my back on Him, He intervened. I give thanks to my God that He moved my brother to send me back to the Philippines. You see, I had spent almost a decade as a foreign student in the USA, wasting my Dad’s money. I wasn’t exactly happy about being sent back. It felt like I was being exiled from my friends and the places I was already comfortable at. A few days after I got back, I had a blown out panic attack. It was only after I married Mavis that I thought I could finally let go of it. But as every addict knows, for as long as we are still in this world, there is no escape, unless… Oh wow, there is that UNLESS again… There is no true escape from addiction, distress, illness, enslaveness, hatred, physical & emotional pain, and all that is in the dark side, which the Lord had quantified into one word, SIN. 

There is no escape from sin UNLESS by Divine Intercession.

In 1990, after I let my habit string me out for the Nth time, the Lord put a spiritual mirror in front of me so I could be confronted with the true image of my situation. I was watching the news about the serious outcomes in the Middle East. The news casters were talking about the use of nuclear armaments and the whole world being plunged into WW3. Well, they were effective. For the first time in my life, I was thinking more about my mortality. Then, when I was watching an old favorite religious TV movie, I was confronted with a disturbing question. If I was to stand before God on that very day, would He let me into heaven? The answer was way too obvious in my heart. God would not let me in, for I suddenly knew I was not deserving. As soon as I came to this frame of mind, I was instilled with a deep desire to find out why and how. Back then, I did not understand what was happening. It started with a determination to rid of those things in my presence that had enticed me to sin. Those things were exactly what they were. They were just objects with no power at all. Without batting an eye, I easily boxed them up and threw them out. I was elated. But I knew I must not stop there.

The next day, I surprised my boss and friend with the announcement that I wanted to attend Bible Study. For weeks, she had been inviting me to go with her but I would give her my usual sarcastic answer that I have done it before. Oh, the look of shock on her face. Anyway, the plan was that we would go on a Thursday night. But the dark side of the Force² didn’t want me to go and was working to change my mind. It almost worked too. At the place where she was suppose to pick me up, she was not there. I would have gone home and concluded that maybe Bible Study was really not for me. Then I heard my voice being called from a distance. It was her. Somehow we got our signals crossed. I was waiting on one corner while she was about a block away. When we got to the study center, it was jammed packed. The thought of standing in the back for an hour and half was not exactly appealing, I almost backed out. (Oh man, was I really spoiled.) But lo and behold, right at the front row of a standing room only class were two empty seats. Coincidence? Since knowing the Lord, I don’t believe in it anymore. So far, two things almost made me quit. Since things happen to me in 3s, well, my third reason for leaving came walking through the door. He was tall, carried a big Bible and oh yeah, he was Chinese. Now, I am not prejudiced, but as soon as he entered, all those old Filipino biases of the Chinese that I heard about reverberated through my head. This could have been the third strike but then he started teaching and all of that nonsense went out of my head. Almost at once, I was captivated with what I can tell you now was/is God’s message of reconciliation.³ From those study sessions, God’s plans for my salvation were revealed and I couldn’t help but to believe. I would love to cite every detail of those lessons here but I don’t have to because I already posted those same lessons in my blog, titled: Salvation Series. (Links are below)

Going through those 10 sessions were eye openers but those studies were still only piecemeals of a larger and even grander story. And the Lord wanted me to get to know Him and there is only one place open to me, His Word… i.e., The Holy Bible.

Originally, I had a King James Bible given to me by a friend, but because of the archaic English, I had a hard time getting into it. So, I went and found a simpler Bible. Then, I just needed to know “where do I start?” You see, I have not really read the Bible before. But God took care of that as well, though at that time, I was not aware of it. I remember going to a favorite childhood tale of Joseph which can be found at the tail end of Genesis. The Bible story of Joseph was richer than the story of my childhood and I discovered that there were gaps in my understanding of what I knew. So, I started at the beginning of Genesis. Then my mind and my heart opened up like a floodgate.

It was an experience I will never ever forget in my whole life. Not only did the stories come to life but I began to have a clear understanding of the complex biblical principles that were taught to me in Bible Study classes. Where once I was a lousy student, unable to concentrate, now I study Scripture like a scholar. Go figure. 

Of course, I take no credit for the change in me. Biblically speaking, I am no longer my old self. I am a new creation.⁴ You see, my transformation was a crucial part of God’s plan for me. As soon as I put my faith in His message of reconciliation which was all that He asked of me, He had placed His Spirit in me.⁵ I was made complete. Because of this, one of the gifts of the Spirit is my ability to put all my faith and hope on the assurances about what we do not see.⁶ In other words, my faith is to look forward to eternal life.

I may be quadriplegic, but I am not cursed. Far from it! Though God’s full plan has yet to be revealed to me, what is clear is that, it is His will that I be in my current condition.  And I am thankful for the trust he placed on me to fulfill His will.

By the way, I will walk again! And when that happens, it will be with the Lord in Paradise.

TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!

Footnotes: [1] Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith; [2] Star Wars: Episode IV – The New Hope; [3] 2 Corinthians 5:18,19; [4] 2 Corinthians 5:17; [5] 1 Corinthians 6:19; [6] Hebrews 11:1

Click to go to PART 1  2  3  4  5  6  7

1. Fork on the Road Gospel
2. THE JOHN 3:16 GOSPEL
3. DOES JESUS KNOW YOU?
4. FAITH IN THE INVISIBLE
5. FAITH BY WORD & TESTIMONY
6. COVENANT OF BLOOD
7. HOW DOES ONE BECOME A NEW CREATION?